Whew! 9/14/11

So! Husband and son have been out moose hunting. They'll be out for another 3 days. Missing them!
Physically I am doing FANTASTIC! Feel normal, (other than a little tired!) I can eat, sleep, READ (a bit dizzy during chemo). Feeling very good and blessed. I am enjoying water, no aches (other than a backache off and on). Mentally I feel strong, getting ready for surgery, which is scheduled for October 4th. I think I'm doing okay with that. It's the actually going to sleep and waking up groggy that scare me. That and I wonder how I'll take missing a breast. I will make it through. Just as I did this summer. I'll make it though and wonder how and realize I couldn't have done it without God. That HE is how I make it through all that I go through. I am so strong and so proud of myself. I never knew I had the inner strength. I guess somehow, somewhere I knew. I am reminded of my last job and a co-worker who told me daily she loved me and what a strong woman I was. I kept listening and started to look at myself that way. Even now when I pass a mirror and see myself and want to think something negative, I stop myself and say "I am a beautiful bald woman!" By the way my hair is growing... little by little. The peach fuzz grows! Tonight my girls and I had wedding dress up with my wedding dress. What fun! Elizabeth said "You married daddy??" Olivia asked how much my wedding dress was. Let's just say I saved for months!Well it's getting to be bed time for some McAnulty princesses! Thanks to all of you who read, it blesses me! Love you, love me, love you, love me.

Dinner with my sisters 9/10/11

What an amazing dinner! My sister Rachelle cooked and it was awesome. Steak, potatoes, fresh veggies, cheesecake! The steak came out PERFECTLY! My other sisters were there as well. Husbands working up north or out hunting. ALASKAN MEN! We watched a movie and the kids played. I am so blessed to live right near my family! I get to see them at a moment's notice. I'm not sure what I would do without my sisters! I also think of my kids and how blessed they are to have brothers and sisters (cousins) and other moms (aunties)! Not just here in Fairbanks but in Wasilla as well. Blessed to have Mike and Cristina living up here! Other than dinner at Rachelle's, I spent the day at home in/ near the bed. Not sick, not at all. Not physically. I do notice I have to watch myself mentally and emotionally. I will make excuses to stay in bed and this can be not too good for me. But I feel okay and remind myself of that throughout the day. I really need to get out and visit friends. I can be a terrible friend if given the chance. I tend to think I will see people, if I need to. I don't think they might want to see me or spend time with me. I'm learning and now time to start doing. Blessed to have friends. Love you, love me, love you, love me.

Justin Beiber 9/9/11

Hellllooooo world! I can't believe this! I'm on day 3 out from infusion and I FEEL GREAT! I drove to the store and Elizabeth's school. I did a couple loads of laundry. Dishes. I mean I feel normal! My hair is GROWING! I am so unbelievably happy! Bill and Billy went to Minto this evening for moose hunting. Just us girls here at home. Elizabeth fell asleep in my arms watching Justin Beiber on You Tube. It's quiet here, I'm glad my son and husband get to spend time together. My dad and brother came in from Minto for work for the afternoon. So good to see Eric! My dad brought me dry meat and cookies and coffee. What a great guy! I picked up the kiddos from school today and bought lunch for them. It's so nice to be able to do little things! I am so looking forward to bigger things, yet so happy and content here! All I do, all I can say is God gets the glory! He brought me through this and will bring me what is to come. Thank you to all of you for your prayers! It was such a good day, I don't want it to end! Love and prayers to all of you. Love you, love me, love you, love me!

I'll Fly Away 9/8/11

Flew home from Anchorage today. Bill went with me to Anchorage. This was my trip down for NO CHEMO drug Herceptin (maintance drug to keep cancer from coming back/ growing) and to see my surgeon. We talked about my surgery options. I'm choosing a mastectomy. This over a lumpectomy. I would rather have the whole thing out than mess around. So far, I'm okay with that. I'm still me, breast or no breast. I'm still Rhonda. In fact I would say I'm a better Rhonda after all this. I am a better mom, more patient. I have more friends and more love than I ever thought possible. I can see things I never saw before. I can laugh like I am a child again. I love and appreciate my dad, sisters, brother and husband in a way I didn't know existed. So no date yet set for surgery, although they did ask if I could stay in Anchorage over the weekend. Which I thought might happen, but I missed my kids and would like a little more time to let this settle. I did have an ultra sound on my lymph nodes and they could find nothing! Everything looked normal! Praise God! The doctor also said my lump had significantly shrunk in size! Chemo did it's crazy job! Although, I do have to take a little credit and give God all the credit!
As far as physically, so far doing GREAT! Still have tastebuds, a little tired, no aches other than an ongoing backache, no nausea, so far, so good. Mentally, strong. Emotionally, getting ready for the next challenge!
To top this wonderful night off, Miss Lelly painted my toenails and we sat in bed and ate gummy bears! FUN! Miss Olivia was so thankful for her lacy gloves (picture to come later) and Billy gave me the biggest hug! Happy to be home and happy to be happy! Love you, love me, love you, love me!

Saturday 9/3/11

Happy Birthday dad! I can't believe it's September! And it's Saturday. I'm loving this! Bill's working today.I took Biil in the van, so it's the kids and I enjoying the day together! My itching has started back and that means little bumps on my bald head! Did a little more shopping today this morning. I was BLESSED! A few weeks ago I saw a poster for Breast Cancer Detection Center's Annual Gala. I saw the sign and prayed, God, please if ther is anyway I would like to go to this. I don't know how we can afford it, but I want to go Lord, please. Someone today GAVE me tickets! I cried. God answered my prayer. This isn't just a small little thing, He did it for me. He loves me so much. He answered a prayer! I am so blessed! I am not taking my prayers lightly anymore. I am being truthful and honest and believing God for His loving mercies and that the answers to my prayers will honor HIM. That doesn't mean God always gives me what I want. He gives me those things that I will honor Him for. God is good and I am blessed. BLESSED and I pass this blessing onto you my friends. Love you, love me, love you, love me

Friday 9/2/11

Wow Friday! Yay! Today I went grocery shopping and made a menu for the next couple of weeks, yes folks, we're back to eating healthier. It was really hard this summer, I am so grateful for the meals that our church family provided. Those were the only healthy thing we ate some weeks! But I love to make menus and cook for my family, so I'm back to that and so very happy! Last winter we started supplementing with organic food and eating salads and limiting our processed food intake. I also watched our calorie intake and both Bill and I lost a good deal of weight. We also worked out a lot and didn't eat out. I've actually gained weight with chemo, but that's not a bad thing, but the alternative would be losing weight and that wouldn't be good. From the moment I can start tasting food I eat and eat and eat. Whatever I can get my hands on! Well now I want to watch what I'm putting into this beautiful body that God gave me. I also want to teach my kids some great cooking and eating habits! okay I'll get off my health food kick! Tonight I used the fresh peaches Bill brought home and canned them. (jarred them?) My first time jarring something in awhile and I was a bit nervous. We'll see this winter how that went! I had fun doing it. Made me thankful I can help my family providing and preserving God's abundances! Thanks to all of you for your continued support and prayers! Love you, Love me, Love you, love me!

Thursday 9/1/11

It's September! There were moments this summer, I wasn't sure HOW I was going to make it! I lived in the moments and made it! God is good! I stayed home again today, cleaning up my house, a little at a time and it's getting there. I realize most of the summer I was either in bed or running away from it! Other than painting the living room I tried to stay away from home and "laying around". So cleaning this morning and I felt myself getting very angry I had to stop myself and say "If I'm not going to have a good attitude about this, if this is going to make me crabby, I'm going to stop. I'm not going to clean it up. I should be thankful to clean this up and if I can't then I need to stop until I do have the right attitude about it." So I changed my attitude right then and there and finished up. It was great. Another thought occurred to me this afternoon. About friends I have made since my diagnoses. Friends I would've never met, had I not been diagnosed with breast cancer. For that, today I am grateful. I am grateful for meeting these wonderful people and for reconnecting with others. I am grateful for the relationships God is restoring through my cancer. I love my friends, each of you, in a more deeper, meaningful way now. I know what it is to love. Love is worth it, negativity is not. Love is worth the energy and the effort, a crappy attitude is NOT worth wasting my time, energy or effort! Love you, love me, love you, love me