1.3.13 Round 5 of 6 Getting Real

Time to get back to being real. I haven't posted in a month. Scared of feeling, scared of falling. I want so badly to avoid the negative I don't allow myself to feel it and let it out. But I can't go backward, I can only let go. It was rough. I didn't want to finish. I wanted to give up, and I kept quiet, but no more. I made it! I made it from reading posts, looking a pictures, planning times and Christmas, and I made it with God's help an it was GLORIOUS! Today. I got home from Anchorage, my aunty and uncle picked me up from the airport what a blessing to spend time with them! I slept off and on and I usually do the day after chemo. I feels good to sleep during the day. Eliza climbed in bed with me before I napped. The older ones let me hug and hold them as long as I wanted. The cat ate tuna from me, my hubby checked in on me and my daddy asked how I was doing. I can have a crappy day or month, acknowledge it, let it go and find something positive. BLESSED at the end. BLESSED!