I kind of like to think of Monday's as my new year. Or the first of the month, or I don't know, just about ANY reason to start a new. Because if you are breathing you can start new anything in the next breath. On of the many lessons I learned from Al-Anon and Celebrate Recovery.
I started Al-Anon two months after my mom passed away. My life was unmanageable at that point. I kept trying the same things and getting the same result, nowhere. Today I am so greatful for these/ those lessons and I am in such a different place. But still breathing and ready to start something new!
I don't talk a whole lot about medications I'm on, my faux pas I guess. At one time I've been on like 7 meds and taking 10-12 pills a day. Craptacular. I HATE medication. I have a SERIOUS phobia of meds and becoming an addict. Recently I have been living with pain rather than taking medication. One of the chemo drugs I'm on causes serious joint aches, but there is no telling how long I will be on this drug so I refuse to take pain meds cause I just don't want to be on it for the rest of my life. I am moving more and trying herbal remedies. Soon I hope to be back to acupuncture, massage therapy and to see the chiropracter. I also have been suffering from anxiouty and that causes muscles to tense up and yeah. I think, and if I can complain for a minute, the worst part is, some meds I have to take in the morning and make me drowsy so I HAVE to take a nap before lunch. If I take these meds at night they counteract with my sleeping meds. Let me explain, you know how some people if they take too much of a relaxing med it has the opposite effect? That's me. WITH ANY kind of medication. So I have to weigh pros and cons with every medicine. So normally not really a huge deal, but with it being Christmas break, I want to spend awake hours with my family even though I do have teenagers who have CRAZY hours.
In hindsight, this is a good complaint. I think I'd rather complain about this than major stuff :)
So, my son spent half of winter break with my sister in Fairbanks and he came home today. Ah I am so glad to have him home! It's hard to believe it's Saturday, it feels like I've been living on the weekend for the last two weeks!
I suppose this is the point where I list my New Year Resolutions. My first is to live EACH day, EACH day and not to try and live tomorrow, today or to try and re-live yesterday. Live in the moment. I also want to say as I do and do as I say. These can sound so very vague so to be more accurate, I want to answer my phone more and not try and avoid people. I want to make it to church EVERY Sunday. This to me is part of living as I say I am. In the past few years I have missed a lot of church and I don't want that to be the case anymore. I believe church isn't a place just to "get something", but a place to "give part of me". I would like to volunteer or give of myself somewhere different every month. I want to try something new every month, a craft, volunteer work, a baked goodie, a book, something. And lastly, I want to learn to speak french. Voila! J'adore moi, j'adore vous, j'adore moi, j'adore vous!
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