Day 8 Round 5

Another day down. Literally and figuratively. Spent another day in bed, did get up for a shower, to clean up the bathroom a little and heat up hotdogs. Ah, the little blessings. I am blessed though, blessed to get up for one day. I'll take it. I'll take the little bit of getting up. Bill headed to Minto tonight after work to get in line for a moose permit. Sad to have him gone and trying hard not to be too dependent on him. I have these moments of panic throughout the day, I have to stop myself to breathe through and remember that I am going to make it through this. It's in these moments where I feel very alone and weak. But in my weakness I know God is made strong. I really don't want to become to dependent on Bill, but at the same time I am learning where to be dependent on Bill and God. Tonight for dinner, hot dogs. I cooked! I COOKED! I know it's just hotdogs, but I did it. I've been waiting a few days to get back into the kitchen. Grapes again today, I've eaten over 6 lbs of grapes in the last 4 days. It's the only thing I can seem to eat/ taste. The chemo takes away the taste of food and irritates my stomach, so I am liking stronger foods or foods that have no taste to begin with. I crave salty/ sugary foods. Fried foods (except to look at them makes me nauseous) And I don't like the smell of foods. I heard (on Food network) that 70% of taste is the smell. Hmm, makes sense... Well it's getting late and time to get the baby into bed. Keep them prayers a comin'. Love you, love me, love you, love me.