Thankful

Learning the art of being thankful, again. As I type I'm in bed, yes, wishing I could be here or there doing this or that, but I'm not and I'm thankful. I am where I am and God is still God. God is still good. There's a million other things I want to do wash laundry, clean the bathroom, change my sheets, put photos in albums, crafts and the list goes on... But today, today I will choose to be thankful for what I do have and what I can do. I am alive I am breathing, I have friends and facebook. I have sisters and a brother who love me dearly. I have a husband who does endlessly. I have a phone with text messages and a laptop to watch movies or surf the internet. I have a television and electricity. I have a God I can talk to at any time, no reservations, no condemnation. I can't do it all, but I have all I need in Him. I am where I am, and I am okay with that. I can't look back with regret, then I'm not thankful. I can't look ahead with worry, then I'm not thankful. I am learning to be content in all things. It's hard sometimes. But the biggest lesson to being content is being thankful in the smallest of things. Little things add up.
It's Saturday after chemo, so that means the thick of it. I start to feel down and remind myself, the last one... I stay in bed ALL day, watching TV, surfing the internet. It's not as fun as you'd think. Oh and I eat. Every hour or so eat, I can't taste the food, but I do believe the meds make me hungry. Today the door to the bedroom was mostly shut, I had my nieces and nephews over, what good kids. I didn't even hear them! Bill watched them and MAN what good kids! Back to the door. There are times when I HAVE to have it open so I can hear LIFE beyond these walls. But that makes me think, there are times in my life when I don't FEEL God. I wonder if He's there, if He cares. But it's not what I FEEL, but what I trust. I don't feel like I will ever get my to do list done, but that doesn't mean it won't. I just have to be in this moment not trusting what I'm feeling but being thankful for what I have, where I am, WHO I am and that I am LOVED! Love you, love me, Love you, love me.