1.8.12 Weekend rads

So the radiation is starting to get to me. PAIN. It's terrible. Someone early on in my diagnosis gave me their horror story about radiation and I've taken that with me, trying so very despretely to not think of it, to let it go. I have not been able to yet.  I have to go braless and that's a pain in itself. There is a huge red square/ triangle on my chest form the radiation (rads) from my collar bone to underneith where my breast was (right side) to 1/2 under my arm pit and up to my collar bone. The pain is mostly under my arm pit. It rubs against itself and has caused some skin to rub off. Not fun folks. In addition to this I am BONE tired. I noticed it hits me on the weekends. Last night was game night. What a relief! I forgot about the pain/ irriation and weakness/ tiredness. I mentioned cancer only twice. I am so glad I went. I told Bill I needed to, to get my mind of rads. So the good stuff, I get weekends off from treatment, this is only for a short time (2 weeks), once you are treated in a certain area, you can NEVER be treated there again, this isn't chemo, it's painful but I'm DOING it. So as I wipe my tears and pick myself up I am so very grateful I can find the good in all of this. Yes, there's unpleasantness, but there is GOODNESS. There is hope, and this isn't all in vain. I know it's not in vain. That is why I say Thank you God. That is why I say I am blessed, because God helps me to see the good and not stay in the crappy unpleasantness. I guess THAT is what I consider "Leaning Into the Everlasting Arms". So wherever you are, whatever you are going through, don't stay stuck there. Think of a blessing, something to be thankful for, and remember, THAT goodness, comes from God. I love you. Love you, love me, love you, love me.