My body aches, my mind races...I am so tired. I can feel it behind my eyes. I want so badly for sleep, for real rest. My head pounds. It's all I can think about. Please body release tension, let go of ideas, plans, fears. Eyes close. Head, please stop pounding. RELEASE.
Imagine, you, the hardest thing you've ever had to go through.That thing you had to go through, mentally and emotionally, physically. It may have only been a few moments or years. It may have been cancer, or war, or a marathon. Maybe it was having a baby or giving a baby away. Maybe it was death and letting go of a loved one. It could been an addiction or watching a loved one go through it. Now think, seriously of that moment you made it. The moment the doctor announced you were cancer free or the military released you. The moment you crossed the finish line. The moment you heard the babies cry or heard the wonderful news of how that baby was growing by leaps and bounds by a family who loves and cares for them. Think of the moment you relized that your loved one was in a better place and that you would someday be there. The moment you relized that you could do this, you could make it through an addiction. The moment you saw your loved one and they looked at you with clear eyes free from their addiction. This was me. I did it. Then I turned the corner, and was hit by a bus. The cancer bus.
So many have asked me, what can I do, how can I help? My reality is that I have done this before. The first time around I didn't know how to answer this. Pray for me. Pray for Bill. Encourage my kids. This time I need you. I NEED YOU, to tell me I can do this. I need you to tell me I am strong, that I will have years ahead of me. The first time I KNEW it. I was telling everyone I knew, I've got this. I'm a fighter, I will win this. Now, now, this time around is a different fight for me. It's a different fight for YOU. I need you to TELL ME I'm going to make it. What if you're not sure? Are you one of the people praying for me? Do you think of me? Then you know the answer. I don't care how you think you may not be worth the answer of prayer from God. HE IS GOING to answer YOUR prayers and prolong my life. HE is going to prove it to me. So, to help me, say a prayer and tell me, I'm going to make it to my daughter's weddings and to see my son play college basketball. I am going to retire to a cabin in the woods with Bill where he will fish and I will crochet in a rocking chair. Or we will travel the world as missionaries...Tell me you love me. Love you, love me, love you, love me.
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