6.18.13 The deciding factor, to move

As I lay in bed with insomnia... errrggg! I started to think, why is it we have decided to move to Anchorage/ Mat-Su? My first thought was "welllllll..." and the list of reasons poured in Bill's job, my treatment, childcare, schooling, and on and on. And somewhere in there.."God is calling us to Anchorage." Seems kinda normal typing it out. Ah, but my first thoughts were, "Really?" I didn't hear Him call me to Anchorage. I simply said yes, when Bill first approached me about the idea several months ago. So, is it possible...That God is calling us and first calling the head of our household? Oh, absolutely. For me, this is major. I'm not in control, I'm not leading. And yet, I'm not following so later I can say "Welllll....this wasn't my idea. I didn't want this to happen". Nope. I'm okay. I'm okay with the move. I'm okay with God calling us as a family. I've actually learned something in the last 3 years about giving up control and releasing what I think, or how I think things should be done. I'm happy with how things have turned out. CRAZY, I know, right? But I am so much happier today than I was 3 years ago, 5 years ago, even 15 years ago. How do I know? How do I know I'm happier? Because I smile more, I forgive more, I let the little things go by. Oh, I still have issues. This insomnia? It's not due to lack of meds or time or whatever. Back to happiness. I love to be around people at the "Native Hospital" (ANMC, Alaska Native Medical Center). I smile soooo much more. I don't nearly yell at my kids like I used to. I find things to laugh about. I smile when things are going all wrong. There's a plan in there, not my plan or how I would plan things to go, but yes a greater plan. and I'm so OKAY with that.Take me, take us where YOU would have us to go God. So, I'm not in control, but I'm happy! I'm blessed, beyond measure. That I can live with today. And tomorrow? Let tomorrow worry about itself. Love you, love me, love you, love me...