Sunday, July 31, 2011

Summer over?

Is summer really over? I'm sad. That summer is over. I wanted it to be over so badly and now I wish I would've held onto it longer. I am so thankful I got to spend as much time in Minto as I did. I can only hope I will be able to spend more time this fall/ winter. I don' want to get sad, and mushy, but I am. I remember driving to Minto with Rachelle. With Bill. Spending time down there for the Fourth of July. I hold onto Easter and Spring Break up, the warmer temperatures. I look forward to being stronger this winter. Maybe I need to just focus on this moment. Enjoying this moment. Bill took the kids on a bike ride. I'll be doing that next summer. Oh, next summer! NO ONE will be looking forward to next more than I will!
Today. Today. ugg. Terrible. Again, I don't want to complain, I have a lot to be thankful for. But today was rough. I woke up very early with tummy aches and slept off and on most of the day. But not being able to eat or drink is very difficult and I am hungry for the sake of being hungry. I watch Food Network or food shows all day, which I'm sure doesn't help, but I somehow feel like it's feeding me! Feeling nauseated again. Bill and the kids are doing good. I feel a bit bad, I really feel like I need to hear noise and that it's helps to hear life outside of these walls. I just have to remember this won't last forever and I'll be up and out soon.
I don't want anyone to think I am ignoring them, on bad days I can't talk on the phone, on good days I just want to keep moving. I was told day 5 is the hardest. Actually I was told days 5-7, but this round I will only believe day 5 will be rough. Tomorrow I will be much better. Okay, maybe more later. Love you, love me, love you, love me.

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