1 week post surgery

I am tired and hurting physically. I'm okay with losing a breast. I am. I am so grateful to my dad, husband, aunt and uncle Paul for coming to Anchorage to be with me. We left to Anchorage October 2. In the days leading up to that day I was becoming more and more anxious, and nervous. I don't like the thought of "going under". It scared me. On Sunday I finally cried it out and told God, I don't want to die. I told Him that I want to see my kids grow up and be the mom I need to be for them. I cried. I love my kids and husband so much. I feel like I still have so much to give my kids, my husband, my dad, brother, sisters and friends. He answered my prayer and here I am. I am so blessed. I have a wonderful life and a giving heavenly father who loves me so much. Tonight I am in pain. more physically than anything else. I had a full mastectomy on my right side breast. And that is where the pain lies under my arm to my inner breast bone. But I think of the scripture "in my weakness, HE is made strong." As I sit here wincing back the pain, my son brings in a bag someone gave Bill to give me. A care package of sorts. I cry. I finally cry in pain. My aunty told me, if you need to cry, cry. God gave us tears for a reason. He loves me so much, he puts such loving people in my life. People who cry and pray with and for me. People who think of me and remind me daily that I am loved. I hope I can pass this love on. God is so good. He is restoring relationships, growing me as a wife and mother, answering prayers and living daily in me. As for a report from the doctor? They could find no cancer in either the lymph nodes or in the breast. My preliminary results show NO CANCER! Look, look what my God can do! There is no one besides Him. He is my all, HIS love endures forever, GIVE PRAISE! love you, love me, love you, love me!