Wow! What a day. I was WAS so nervous about today. See I am one of those people who plans Thanksgiving like a month in advance. I have SPREADSHEETS for the Holidays. A control thing or a PERSONALITY thing. Less a control thing now I think. It turned out fine. I could've saved a lot of energy if I only wouldn't have stressed about it. But in retrospect, I didn't really stress as much as I would have in the past. So I wasn't able to cook the entire meal, but my dad, Bill and even the kids did a great job. It wasn't until LATE this evening I let it all spill out. If I tend to think too much and stress and think then it will spill out into angry words. Word vomit I call it. It's pretty nasty. Up until now I think I've done pretty good with keeping it under control towards my kids, but tonight a bit spilled out to them. I am sorry. I have told them this, but I want to tell them one last time, before we can move on. I want to blame it on hormones or chemo or stress, but the truth is I have the power in me to control how I DEAL with the situation. I may not be able to control the situation, but I can control how I REACT to the situation. I didn't deal or react in the best of ways, for this I am sorry. Now moving on, I love you guys, with all my heart and WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS. (As a note to readers/ newbies, my kids are still what I consider young [13,11 and 4] but I hope one day they can read through all this and gain perspective to help them :)
Now Thanksgiving...As I sit here and think, I am so very blessed,
for...A husband I will grow very old with and hold his hand all the
way. Beautiful Children that I will watch grow old. I am blessed to
have, all of the people God has brought into my life, THROUGH this
journey. And very blessed for my family... My heart is with you K, and the village of Minto. I love all of you. Love you, love me, love you, love me.
No comments:
Post a Comment